Babies

• Excessive crying
• anxiety
• irritability
• eating and sleeping difficulties
• failure to thrive
• reactive to loud noises
• wary of new people
• delayed mobility
• very demanding or very passive.

Pre School

Lack the cognitive maturity to understand the meaning of the abuse they observe. Unable to express their feelings verbally so emotions are often expressed through behaviour.  

• clinging
• eating and sleeping difficulties
• concentration problems
• emotional distress
• immature behaviour (age inappropriate)
• insecurities
• self blame, guilt, shame, worry and anxiety
• inability to play constructively
• aggressive behaviour
• physical complaints
• adjustment problems, for example difficulty moving from kinder to school
• Symptoms similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in adults, including re-experiencing of events, fearfulness, numbing and increased arousal, reduced ability to empathize with other people.

Pre Adolescence

Deeper understand of intentions behind violent behaviour so may blame themselves for not preventing it. May also express symptoms akin to PTSD.

• have more ability to externalise (aggression, delinquency) and internalise emotions (withdrawal, anxiety)
• repressed anger and confusion
• limited tolerance and poor impulse control (or  NEVER losing control through fear of consequences)
• conflict avoidance, over compliant behaviour
• deficits in social skills, loss of interest in social activities, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, reduced social competence
• low self esteem
• rebelliousness, defiant behaviour, temper tantrums, irritability
• cruelty to pets
• physical abuse of others
• deficits in basic coping or over-developed coping skills (eg. care for siblings, home, parent, alcohol or drugs abuse)
• Overall functioning, attitudes, social competence and school performance are often negatively affected

Adolescence

• At risk of academic failure, school drop out
• substance abuse
• difficulty trusting adults
• controlling or manipulative behaviour
• homelessness
• eating disorders
• higher risk of engaging in delinquent/violent behaviour as adults
• depression, suicidal ideation or self-harming behaviour
• perfectionism – terrified to make a mistake or of failing the abuser
• blame themselves for marriage break-up
• quick to attach to any ‘friendly’ adult.